Category: Bad

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Worst Fruit

Cherries taste great, but if you eat the leaves or twigs of a cherry tree, you could get sick or even die.

The leaves, twigs, bark, and seeds (pits) of cherry trees—along with related trees like peaches, plums, and apricots contain cyanogenic glycosides, primarily amygdalin and prunasin. When these plant parts are chewed or digested, enzymes break these compounds down into hydrocyanic acid, better known as cyanide.

  • Why it happens: Cyanide prevents the body’s cells from using oxygen, which can cause severe cellular hypoxia, respiratory distress, shock, and potentially death if consumed in sufficient quantities.
  • The biggest risk factor: The leaves are particularly dangerous when they are wilted. As leaves break, crush, or wilt (such as after a storm or pruning), the plant cells rupture and unleash higher concentrations of cyanide gas.
  • Who is most at risk: While humans can get sick from chewing on twigs or swallowing crushed pits, this is a major danger for grazing livestock (horses, cows, and goats), which frequently suffer fatal cyanide poisoning after eating fallen cherry leaves.

The flesh of the cherry itself is completely safe and free of these cyanogenic compounds.

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Worst Food

Sugar Cane

Julie Andrews sang in Mary Poppins, “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” In fact, for one minor ailment, sugar is the medicine. According to one doctor who set up carefully controlled laboratory tests, swallowing a teaspoonful of dry sugar is the best way to stop hiccups. Note: In the case of many other, serious ailments, sugar is the cause.

10 Surprising Facts About How Sugar Affects Your Health

  1. It Triggers the Same Reward Pathways as Addictive Substances
    Eating added sugar triggers a massive release of dopamine in the brain’s reward center (the nucleus accumbens). Over time, frequent high-sugar intake can downregulate dopamine receptors, requiring larger amounts of sugar to achieve the same feeling—a key hallmark of chemical tolerance and craving loops.
  2. It Causes a Specific Type of Fat Accumulation Around the Liver
    Unlike glucose, which every cell in the body can use for fuel, fructose (a major component of table sugar and high-fructose corn syrup) is processed almost exclusively by the liver. Excess fructose gets converted directly into fat, which accumulates in liver cells and can lead to Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD).
  3. It Accelerates Skin Aging via “Glycation”
    When excess sugar circulates in the blood, it attaches to proteins and fats in a process called advanced glycation end-products (AGEs). AGEs damage collagen and elastin—the structural proteins that keep skin firm and springy—causing premature wrinkles and sagging.
  4. It Increases Heart Disease Risk Independent of Body Weight
    Even in individuals who are not overweight, a high-sugar diet significantly increases cardiovascular mortality. A landmark 15-year study showed that people who consumed 17% to 21% of their daily calories from added sugar had a 38% higher risk of dying from heart disease compared to those keeping it under 10%.
  5. It Suppresses the Hormone That Signals You Are Full
    High consumption of added fructose can lead to resistance to leptin, the hormone produced by fat cells that tells your brain when you are full. Leptin resistance tricks the brain into thinking the body is starving, leading to overeating and continuous hunger.
  6. It Silently Promotes Systemic Low-Grade Inflammation
    Excessive sugar intake drives the production of inflammatory cytokines and increases C-reactive protein (CRP) levels in the blood. Chronic internal inflammation is an underlying driver for autoimmune conditions, joint degeneration, and arterial wall damage.
  7. It Starves Beneficial Gut Microbes
    Diets heavy in refined sugars feed pathogenic bacteria and yeasts (such as Candida) in the gut while starving beneficial microbes that thrive on fiber. This dysbiosis damages the intestinal mucosa, impairs nutrient absorption, and negatively impacts gut-brain communication.
  8. It Accelerates Cellular Aging (Telomere Shortening)
    Consuming sugar-sweetened beverages is associated with shorter telomeres—the protective caps on the ends of chromosomes. Shorter telomeres indicate faster biological aging at a cellular level, similar to the cellular damage caused by smoking.
  9. It Increases Risk of Kidney Stones and Chronic Kidney Disease
    Excess fructose raises uric acid levels in the blood, which can crystallize into painful kidney stones. High blood sugar also stresses the glomeruli (tiny filtering units in the kidneys), increasing the risk of chronic kidney damage over time.
  10. It Triggers Highs and Lows in Daily Energy and Mood
    Simple sugars break down rapidly into glucose, causing a rapid spike in blood sugar followed by an overproduction of insulin. This creates a dramatic blood sugar “crash” (reactive hypoglycemia), which frequently causes brain fog, irritability, fatigue, and anxiety within hours of consumption.

Reducing sugar, and starch which is turned into sugar by digestion, has been known to cure many ailments including diabetes and high blood pressure.

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Worst Carpet Tacking Situation

I found the following in a book published in 1858:

“An English gentleman, traveling some years ago in Ireland, took a hammer and tacks with him, because he found dog’s-eared carpets at all the inns where he rested. At one of these inns he tacked down the carpet which, as usual, was loose near the door, and soon afterwards rang for his dinner. While the carpet was loose the door could not be opened without a hard push: so when the waiter came up, he just unlatched the door, and then going back a couple of yards, he rushed against it, as his habit was, with a sudden spring to force it open. But the wrinkles of the carpet were no longer there to stop it, and not meeting with the expected resistance, the unfortunate waiter fell full sprawl into the room. It had never entered his head that so much trouble might be saved by means of a hammer and half-a-dozen tacks, until his fall taught him that make-shift is a very unprofitable kind of shift.”

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Worst Advice for the Preservation of Health

From a book written in 1858:

Of course this advice is mostly wrong but some is surprisingly accurate.

“Rules for the preservation of health: Pure atmospheric air is composed of nitrogen, oxygen, and a very small proportion of carbonic acid gas. Air once breathed has lost the chief part of its oxygen, and acquired a proportionate increase of carbonic acid gas. Therefore, health requires that we breath the same air once only.

The solid part of our bodies are continually wasting, and requires Continue reading Worst Advice for the Preservation of Health

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Worst Advice for Drowning

From a book written in 1858:

(This is no longer considered correct)

“Drowning: Attend to the following essential rules:

1. Lose no time.

2. Handle the body gently.

3. Carry the body with the head gently raised, and never hold it up by the feet.

4. Send for medical assistance immediately, and in the meantime act as follows:

1. Strip the body, rub it dry: then rub it in hot blankets, and place it in a warm bed in a warm room.

2. Cleanse away the froth and mucus from the nose and mouth.

3. Apply warm bricks, bottles, bags of sand, &c. to the arm-pits, between the thighs and soles of the feet.

4. Rub the surface of the body with the hands enclosed in warm dry worsted socks.

5. If possible, put the body into a warm bath.

6. To restore breathing, put the pipe of a common bellows into one nostril, carefully closing the other and the mouth; at the same time drawing downwards, and pushing gently backwards the upper part of the windpipe, to allow a more free admission of air; blow the bellows gently, in order to inflate the lungs, till the breast be raised a little; then set the mouth and nostrils free, and press gently on the chest; repeat this until signs of life appear. When the patient revives, apply smelling-salts to the nose, give warm wine or brandy and water.

Cautions:

1. Never rub the body with salt or spirits.

2. Never roll the body on casks.

3. Continue the remedies for twelve hours without ceasing.

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Worst Instructions

I found these instructions in a manual about a computer programming language. Perhaps because of wording like this there are not more programmers than there are:

Look at the first compare of the second group of compare statements. The expression “r != s” will evaluate as a “true” since “r” was set to 0.0 above, so the result will be a non-zero value, probably 1. Even though the two variables that are compared are “float” variables, the result will be of type “integer.” There is no explicit variable to which it will be assigned so the result of the compare is an implied integer. Finally the resulting number, 1 in this case, is assigned to the integer variable “x”. If double equal signs were used, the phantom value, namely 1, would be compared to the value of “x”, but since the single equal sign is used, the value 1 is simply assigned to “x”, as though the statement were not in parentheses.

Finally, since the result of the assignment in the parentheses was non-zero, the entire expression is evaluated as “true”, and “z” is assigned the value of 1000. Thus we accomplished two things in this statement, we assigned “x” a new value, probably 1, and we assigned “z” the value of 1000. We covered a lot in this statement so you may wish to review it before going on. The important things to remember are the values that define “true” and “false”, and the fact that several things can be assigned in a conditional statement. The value assigned to “x” was probably a 1 but different compilers may assign a different value as long as it is non-zero.

Continuing on to the fourth example of the third group we find three assignment statements in the compare part of the “if” statement. If you understood the above discussion, you should have no difficulty understanding that the three variables are assigned their respective new values, and the result of all three are non-zero, leading to a resulting value of “TRUE.”


Pictured above: Some of your author’s code for a picture puzzle program written about ten years ago.

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Worst Waste of Money

Avoid the temptation to buy a top-of-the-line model unless you have money to burn. In almost all categories of merchandise, the difference between the top of the line, and middle is not all that great in terms of features and quality, but very noticeable in price.  Lets look at some examples: Continue reading Worst Waste of Money

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Worst Bicycling Experience

Some will tell you the worst thing that can happen while riding your bike is being chased by a dog. If that happens, here’s what to do:

1. Slow down or stop. There’s no fun for the dog in chasing something that isn’t moving.

2. In a deep voice, firmly order the dog to “go home.” They often will, but in any case, you’re making it clear who’s in charge and that you do not approve of their current behavior.

3. Get off the bike and place it between you and the dog. It’s a fence to protect you, and if necessary, you can press it against the dog in self-defense.

4. Yell for help. The owner will most likely take control as soon as your plight is discovered.

5. If you encounter the same dog frequently, contact your local animal control agency. In most neighborhoods, it’s illegal to let dogs run loose and bother people.

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Worst Keyboard Configuration

The standard keyboard that we have all grown up with is called QWERTY, named after the first keys from the left in the row above the home row. It turns out to be the worst keyboard configuration. The QWERTY layout seems illogical until you understand that it was invented for early typewriters. Those typewriters would jam if the typist moved too quickly, so the keyboard was actually designed to slow them down. Unfortunately as more and more typewriters were built using QWERTY, it became the standard, even though newer typewriters could handle faster typing speeds.

Learn the pros and cons of the Dvorak Keyboard Layout, how much faster you can enter text, how easy it is to set up in Windows and OS X, some celebrities who use it, and how to start with training and practice.

Dvorak keyboard Map

Continue reading Worst Keyboard Configuration

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Worst Synonyms For Drunk

According to the “Guiness Book of World Records,” there are as many as 2,241 synonyms for the state of being “drunk.” How many can you list? Seriously, how many can you list? Go ahead and leave your synonyms for ‘drunk’ in the comment area below. When we have enough of them, I’ll publish the list.

Tipsy

Smashed

Wasted

Plastered

Sloshed

Hammered

Buzzed

Sauced

Pickled

Inebriated

Humorous

Swimming in gin

Feeling no pain

Seeing double

Having a chat with the floor

Danced with Dionysus

Holding onto walls for dear life

On a liquid diet

In the bag

Turned into a karaoke monster

Brain marinated in whiskey

Regional Slang

Trollied (UK)

Langered (Ireland)

Maggoted (Australia)

Bladdered (UK)

Pished (Scotland)

Off your face (UK)

Rotten (New Zealand)

Arseholed (UK)

Munted (NZ/Aus)

Paralytic (UK)

Obscure or Old-Timey

Three sheets to the wind

Well-oiled

In one’s cups

Pie-eyed

Half-seas over

Stewed

Blotto

Tight

Juiced

Tanked

Medical or Formal

Intoxicated

Under the influence

Experiencing ethanol impairment

Exhibiting symptoms of alcohol toxicosis

Impaired judgment

BAC elevated

CNS depressant activated

Alcohol-positive

Neurologically uninhibited

Liver-challenged

Animal Inspired

Drunk as a skunk

Buzzed like a bee

Soared like a bat

Waddling like a duck

Sloshed like a fish

Stumbling like a newborn foal

Rabid raccoon energy

Eyes like a barn owl

Mooing like a drunk cow

Oinking through karaoke

Vehicle or Mechanical Metaphors

Off the rails

Spinning the wheels

Out of gas, full of wine

Clutch slipping

Running on booze fumes

Leaking oil

Headlights off

In a tailspin

Crash landed

Shifting without a clutch

Food and Drink

Marinated

Pickled

Fermented

Soaked

Battered

Breaded and deep-fried

Drenched in spirits

Whiskey-braised

Wine-glazed

Beer-battered soul

Descriptive Phrases

Not walking a straight line

Lacking vertical loyalty

Speaking in slurs

Laughing at nothing

Red-faced and rambly

Brain swimming

Senses foggy

Volume at 150%

Emotional and confused

Loosened tongue

Mythical & Magical

Hexed by hops

Elven-wine drunk

Wizard-whiskey whammied

Goblin-mode activated

Cursed by ale

Under the mead spell

Dragon-breathed

On a unicorn bender

Satyr-influenced

Bacchus-blessed

Literary & Poetic

Drenched in dusk-colored wine

Floating on amber tides

Mind adrift in barley clouds

A symphony of slurred syllables

Thoughts swimming through molasses

Smiling through fogged glass

Drunk on stars and bourbon

Lips dripping poetry and vodka

Slurring through Shakespeare

Marooned on merlot shores

Modern & Internet-Inspired

Glitched out

Lagging IRL

Buffering badly

Full emoji mode

TikTok stumble star

Drunkposting

Podcasting from the floor

Autocorrect in real life

Streaming sideways

IRL screenshot fail

Visual Metaphors

Blurred like an old TV

Candle in a wind tunnel

Cross-eyed at the moon

Eyes in disco mode

Face in Picasso formation

Seeing with beer goggles

World on spin cycle

Legs on spaghetti setting

Lights on, everyone partying

Jello-legged

Music & Sound

Volume maxed

Singing off-key with confidence

DJ Vodka took over

Echo chamber in the brain

Doing the two-step on one leg

Waltzing with wobble

Speaking jazz

Soundtrack: chaos

Dissonant monologue

Karaoke heroics

Pop Culture References

Tony Stark at a press conference

Homer Simpson after Moe’s

Bridget Jones on a breakup night

Jack Sparrow swagger

Stumbling like a sitcom dad

Ron Swanson, but on wine

Tyrion Lannister level

The Hangover: live edition

Thor after mead

Wario cart driving

Situational

Clinging to a lamp post

Talking to a fire hydrant

Arguing with a pizza

Hugging strangers

Crying at commercials

Dancing with shadows

Toasting to no one

Walking like a crab

Singing to an ATM

Laughing alone in the mirror

Objects & Elements

Liquid lightning inside

Whiskey-tornado brain

Fog-machine internal

Corked up emotions

Glass full of bad ideas

Carbonated decisions

Wine-slick soul

Firewater madness

Bubbly brainstorm

Iceberg-level tipsy

Surreal & Absurd

Cheesed and confused

Moonwalking through molasses

Astronaut without gravity

Talking in cursive

Wearing invisible roller skates

Brain on vacation

Internal earthquake

Rodeo of regrets

Wobble-dimensional

On a first-name basis with gravity

Clever Wordplay

Chardonnay-shay

Gin-giggled

Cognac-comatose

Tequila-vision

Vodka-vaporized

Rum-rattled

Brew-boozled

Ale-ments of confusion

Martini-mushed

Scotch-guarded memory

Just Plain Weird

Emotionally sticky

Conducting invisible orchestra

Body on shuffle

Stomach singing show tunes

Conversing in whale

Napping while standing

Flirting with chairs

Horizontal ambition

Sense of time: melted

More spirit than man

Pictured above: “Drunk Father,” by George Bellows