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France’s Worst President

Paul Deschanel was a French politician, orator, and writer who served as the 10th President of the French Third Republic in 1920. While he enjoyed a long, distinguished political and literary career, he is best remembered for his brief, tragicomic presidency, which lasted just seven months before being cut short by a severe mental breakdown.


Rise to Power

  • Distinguished Career: Prior to his presidency, Deschanel was an influential parliamentarian representing the Eure-et-Loir department for 35 years. He served twice as President of the Chamber of Deputies (the lower house of Parliament), notably holding the position throughout World War I, where he gained fame as a patriotic orator.
  • Literary Achievement: An accomplished intellectual, he authored numerous books on literature and political science and was elected to the prestigious Académie française in 1899.
  • Defeating “The Tiger”: In January 1920, Deschanel achieved his lifelong ambition of becoming president by defeating Georges Clemenceau—France’s legendary wartime Prime Minister—in a surprise election victory.

The Presidency & Mental Collapse

Shortly after taking office, Deschanel began suffering from severe anxiety, depression, and neurological deterioration, likely brought on by dementia or extreme overwork. His erratic behavior quickly became the talk of Paris:

  1. The Train Incident (May 24, 1920): While traveling overnight on the presidential train to Montbrison, an intoxicated or confused Deschanel fell out of his compartment window while trying to open it. The train was moving slowly, so he survived with only minor scrapes. Dressed only in his pajamas, he walked to a nearby railway track-watcher’s cottage, claiming to be the President of France. The worker’s wife famously brushed him off at first, thinking he was a drunk local.
  2. Strange Public Episodes: Reports began surfacing of other bizarre occurrences—such as signing state documents as “Napoleon” or “Charlemagne,” receiving dignitaries while wearing only his presidential sash, and wandering into a lake fully clothed at the Château de Rambouillet.

Resignation and Legacy

  • Resignation: Realizing he was unfit to govern, Deschanel resigned on September 21, 1920, after just 216 days in office. He was succeeded by Prime Minister Alexandre Millerand.
  • Recovery: After resting at a sanatorium, his mental health improved significantly. He was elected to the French Senate in early 1921, where he served until his death from pleurisy in April 1922.
  • Historical Impact: Beyond the popular folklore surrounding his train fall, Deschanel was notable for his progressive stance on foreign affairs and his lifelong opposition to the death penalty; notably, no state executions took place during his time as head of state.
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10 Worst Kamala Harris Jokes

When Kamala enters a room, Siri automatically stands up.

She once gave a speech so confident that the podium started clapping.

Kamala doesn’t argue — she “clarifies energetically.”

When Kamala says, “Let’s get started,” three committees spontaneously form.

Kamala’s favorite exercise is “holding people accountable.”

Kamala’s laugh has been officially declared a renewable energy source.

Her favorite party game? “Cross-Examine the Host.”

Kamala once debated her GPS about the fastest route — and won.

When Kamala starts a sentence with “Here’s the thing,” you know the thing is about to happen.

Kamala Harris has had so many titles now – Vice President, Senator, District Attorney – her business cards must be the size of a CVS receipt.

From California AG to VP – she traded prosecuting criminals for sitting next to them during State of the Union addresses.

She’s mastered the political skill of saying “the Vice President agrees” while her facial expression says something entirely different.

Why did Kamala Harris bring a pencil to the Senate? Because she’s always ready to draw bipartisan support.

Kamala doesn’t need a cape. Her pantsuit already has superpowers.

Kamala Harris once gave a speech so powerful, the teleprompter asked for a raise.

Kamala Harris once filibustered a traffic jam.

Kamala Harris doesn’t just break glass ceilings. She recycles them into podiums.

Kamala’s speeches are so sharp, they come with a warning label: “May cause inspiration.”

Kamala’s favorite board game? Checks and balances.

Kamala Harris doesn’t just read the Constitution. She edits it for clarity.

Kamala Harris once gave a pep talk to a vending machine. It started dispensing hope.

Kamala’s favorite workout? Running for office.

Why did Kamala Harris excel at hide-and-seek? She’s a pro at finding the joy in every situation.

How did Kamala Harris fix her broken watch? She took it to the debate and argued it back to life!

How does Kamala Harris play Monopoly? She buys Park Place and turns it into a community joy center.

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10 Worst Neil deGrasse Tyson Jokes

Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” Neil replies, “A glass of water. But only if you accurately account for the 4×10−13 mole fraction of D2​O you are serving me.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson was fired from his job as a barista because he kept insisting that the coffee cup was actually “mostly empty space.”

Why did Neil deGrasse Tyson break up with his girlfriend? She claimed the Earth was the center of his universe, and he found the assertion unscientific.

What’s Neil’s favorite part of a joke? The part where he fact-checks the premise.

Neil deGrasse Tyson was pulled over for speeding. The officer asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Neil said, “I have a general idea, but according to Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, the more accurately I measure my momentum, the less accurately I know my position relative to the patrol car.”

A movie producer told Neil he wanted to make a sci-fi film where a spaceship travels faster than light. Neil said, “I’m sorry, I can only consult on movies where the physics are merely implausible, not fundamentally incorrect.”

I asked Neil deGrasse Tyson what his least favorite planet was. He said, “Pluto. Just kidding, I find its reclassification as a ‘dwarf planet’ perfectly defensible based on its orbit and mass ratio.” (He then smiled very slightly.)

You know you’ve met Neil deGrasse Tyson when your conversation is less about feelings and more about escape velocity.

Neil deGrasse Tyson doesn’t say “Bless you” when you sneeze. He says, “Gesundheit, a fascinating linguistic artifact, though biologically, a sneeze is merely an involuntary expulsion of air.”

How does Neil deGrasse Tyson organize a party? He focuses on the distribution of mass to maximize gravitational stability.

What did Neil deGrasse Tyson say when he dropped his phone? “Fascinating. The Earth’s gravitational pull seems to be functioning within expected parameters.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson only wears bow ties because neckties are geometrically inefficient.

What’s Neil’s advice for looking at the bright side? “The bright side is merely a region of high photon flux. Try to maintain a cosmic perspective instead.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson walked into a restaurant and ordered a steak, but then he sent it back. Why? Because the chef claimed it was “out of this world,” and Neil found the statement factually erroneous.

Neil deGrasse Tyson stood up against injustice with a sign in his yard that read: “All Lives are Matter.”

My mom told me Neil deGrasse Tyson was talking about me. I panicked! She clarified, “No, he was talking about how carbon-based life forms are inherently fragile.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson never gets lost. He simply determines his precise coordinates within the observable universe.

What’s Neil’s least favorite type of art? Anything that depicts two people kissing in space without acknowledging the lack of atmospheric pressure.

Neil deGrasse Tyson was asked about his greatest fear. He said, “A scientifically illiterate populace… and also running out of coffee.”

Did you hear about Neil deGrasse Tyson’s new line of clothing? It’s designed to be thermodynamically efficient and cosmically tasteful.

When Neil plays darts, he doesn’t aim for the bullseye. He aims for the barycenter of the board’s mass.

When Neil deGrasse Tyson looks at a shooting star, it apologizes for being unscientific.

Neil deGrasse Tyson once told a joke about gravity. It was so heavy, it pulled everyone in.

Why did the Sun invite Neil deGrasse Tyson over for dinner?
It needed help with its fusion recipe.

When Neil deGrasse Tyson says “Pluto isn’t a planet,” Pluto sends him a strongly worded ice crystal.

Neil deGrasse Tyson once stared into the abyss — and the abyss got a lecture on astrophysics.

Neil deGrasse Tyson can explain quantum mechanics using only breakfast cereal.

Neil deGrasse Tyson once told a joke about relativity. It was funny, but only from certain frames of reference.

Neil deGrasse Tyson’s favorite planet is Earth… because it’s where his audience lives.

Neil deGrasse Tyson doesn’t say “bless you” when you sneeze. He explains the airflow dynamics instead.

The universe keeps expanding because it’s trying to make more room for Neil deGrasse Tyson’s explanations.

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10 Worst Miley Cyrus Jokes

Enjoy these light-hearted, respectful jokes about Miley Cyrus.

Miley’s life is proof that teenage rebellion can eventually win you a Grammy.

She has the energy of someone who would elope with herself just to make a point.

She could sing the phone book and somehow make it sound like emotional closure and a barn fire.

Miley doesn’t break rules. She invites them over, interviews them on live TV, and then sets them on fire.

She once twerked so hard Siri asked if she needed medical assistance.

She could show up in a potato sack and make it look like couture. She probably already has.

Miley doesn’t follow trends—she shows up, destroys them, and builds something weird and better.

If she ran for president, her campaign slogan would just be “Y’all Ain’t Ready.”

Miley Cyrus walked into a recording studio and said, “I’m ready to rock!” The sound engineer replied, “Great, just don’t break anything this time.”

You know you’ve had a long week when you feel like you’ve been on a “Wrecking Ball” all day.

What’s the difference between Miley Cyrus and a chameleon? One changes her image frequently, the other just changes color.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side, where Miley Cyrus wasn’t performing.

I tried to sing like Miley Cyrus, but my dog just looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

What do you call Miley Cyrus’s autobiography? “From Montana to Mayhem.”

My cat started singing, and I swear it sounded like a tiny, furry Miley Cyrus.

What’s Miley Cyrus’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Engine That Could… Twerk.”

I tried to explain Miley Cyrus’s career to my grandmother. She just nodded and said, “Bless her heart, she’s certainly unique.”

See also Worst Miley Cyrus Story

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10 Worst Billie Eilish Jokes

Here are some light-hearted, respectful jokes about Billie Eilish.

Billie Eilish looks like she knows exactly where your soul is stored and is judging its playlist.

If Billie Eilish ever smiled for too long, the sky might assume it’s allowed to be blue again.

Her songs sound like what it feels like when the Wi-Fi goes down during an existential crisis.

Billie Eilish makes music for people who want to win arguments without raising their voices.

Billie Eilish is so famous for being dark and mysterious, sunshine apologizes when it hits her face.

Her idea of a fun Friday night probably involves staring at a lava lamp and silently judging capitalism.

Billie Eilish’s songs are so emotional, therapists probably play them in waiting rooms to get clients in the mood.

How does Billie stay calm during award shows? She just imagines everyone in oversized hoodies.

You know someone’s deep when their fashion sense screams “ghost of a misunderstood poet.”

Billie Eilish looks like she wakes up in the morning just to say, “Ugh, morning.”

Billie Eilish is so cool, air conditioning units study her technique.

I tried listening to Billie while doing chores, and my dishes got clinically depressed.

She looks like she keeps a diary that writes itself out of fear.

If Billie hosted a game show, every prize would be introspection and a black hoodie.

She could turn a birthday party into an avant-garde documentary about loneliness.

Billie sings like she’s revealing ancient truths through a fog machine.

She makes you feel things you didn’t know you repressed, like that time in 5th grade when someone took your pudding.

Billie is the only person who could turn whispering into a power move.

Her concerts feel like guided tours through your unresolved emotions.

Billie could narrate a horror film and you’d somehow root for the ghost.

I’m pretty sure her ideal vacation is just staring at the ocean while contemplating entropy.

Listening to Billie is like hugging your anxiety until it starts sobbing.

If aliens found only Billie’s discography, they’d assume humans survive purely on feelings and oversized pants.

Her hair changes colors so often, chameleons probably follow her on Instagram for inspiration.

Billie Eilish is so effortlessly mysterious, even her own shadow probably wonders what she’s thinking.

See Also: Worst Billie Eilish Story.

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Worst Sabrina Carpenter Story

Sabrina Carpenter and the Cursed Microphone

Enjoy this eccentric story involving Sabrina Carpenter contributed by AI:

One day, Sabrina was just minding her business—sipping on an oat milk latte, wearing sunglasses too big for her face (on purpose), and humming the hook to “Feather” in a Whole Foods, as one does.

That’s when she saw it.

An ancient, dusty microphone sitting in the clearance bin between gluten-free tortilla chips and essential oils labeled “for Mercury retrograde.” Naturally, she bought it. It was only $4.99 and said “Enchanted—Do Not Use Unless Absolutely Vibing.”

So obviously… she used it immediately.

The moment Sabrina sang into the mic, a puff of glitter exploded, and BOOM—she was cursed.

From then on, every time she tried to sing a song live, the microphone would translate her lyrics into chaotic confessions. Not just any confessions—ultra specific, mildly incriminating ones.

Her song “Nonsense” suddenly became:

🎤 “I once DM’d my own fan account / Just to feel something / I ghosted Timothée / ‘Cause I forgot to respond—Oops!”

Fans were obsessed. Each show became a treasure hunt for unhinged one-liners.
TikTok exploded with the hashtag: #SabrinaSaidWHAT

But things spiraled.

At Coachella, mid-ballad, the mic blurted:

🎤 “I think about cheese when I kiss cute boys!”

By then, her team tried to burn the mic.
It regenerated in her dressing room. Wearing a tiny crop top.

They buried it in the desert.
It showed up in her tote bag next to lip gloss and petty thoughts.

In the end, Sabrina embraced it. She launched a cursed mic line on her merch store. It sold out in 45 seconds. One mic was sent to Olivia Rodrigo by accident. No one has heard from her since.

And to this day, Sabrina tours the world, dropping chaotic mic bars like:

🎤 “He said he’s 6 foot / But I measured—liar.”
🎤 “My toxic trait is pretending I’m shy.”
🎤 “I texted my ex from my cat’s phone.”

And the mic?
Still cursed. Still fabulous.

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Worst Leonardo DiCaprio Story

Leonardo DiCaprio and the Great Yacht Goose Chase

AI-Generated Goofy Story

It was a sunny day in the Mediterranean, and Leonardo DiCaprio was enjoying his favorite pastime: lounging on a yacht large enough to have its own postal code. As usual, he was surrounded by his inner circle—an elite crew of environmentalists, models under the age of 25, and one guy named Jeff who no one really knew but always brought good hummus.

Leo, in between bites of sustainably-sourced avocado toast, stood up suddenly and stared out to sea.

“I just had a vision,” he declared, squinting dramatically. “There’s a goose out there. A rare goose. Possibly endangered. It needs me.”

Everyone stopped sipping their eco-friendly kombucha.

“Leo, are you sure?” asked Gisele 2.0 (no relation, just a model name trend).

“Positive,” said Leo, throwing on a captain’s hat he’d found on the set of The Great Gatsby. “To the Goose!”

The crew scrambled. The yacht’s engine roared to life, and soon they were zigzagging across the Mediterranean in what TMZ would later call “the most luxurious avian rescue mission of the decade.”

For hours they chased every bird they saw. Seagulls, pelicans, even a confused kite someone released at a coastal birthday party.

At one point, Leo grabbed binoculars and shouted, “I SEE IT! THE GOLDEN GOOSE!”

“Leo, that’s a floatie.”

“No… it’s fate.”

Eventually, they docked at a small island where the goose was supposedly last seen. As the team combed the beach, Leo spotted a footprint. A single, webbed, slightly sandy footprint.

“Guys,” he whispered, tears in his eyes. “We’re not too late.”

Just then, a local farmer wandered by.

“Lookin’ for the goose?” he asked.

Leo gasped. “Yes! Have you seen it?”

The farmer scratched his head. “You mean Geraldine? She’s my pet. Got a little hat and everything. Wanna meet her?”

Cut to Leo, sitting in a beach chair, feeding grapes to a goose in a straw hat named Geraldine while softly humming My Heart Will Go On.

Later that night, Leo made an impassioned Instagram post about goose conservation, gained 2 million more followers, and Geraldine got a modeling contract with Gucci.

The world was saved. Again.

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Worst Abigail Breslin Story

Abigail Breslin Space Opera

AI-Generated Goofy Story

Abigail Breslin woke up one morning to find a very polite ferret wearing a monocle sitting on her kitchen counter. It was sipping espresso from her favorite mug and reading The Economist. “Good morning, Miss Breslin,” the ferret said with a British accent. “I’ve been sent by the International Council of Unexpected Fame to inform you that you’ve been selected to host the Intergalactic Spelling Bee this afternoon.” Abigail blinked twice, checked her calendar (nothing but “Buy cheese” at 3 p.m.), and said, “Yeah, sure, why not.”

Two hours later, she was whisked away in a hover-van shaped like a saxophone and flown to a floating arena just outside of Saturn. The audience was made up entirely of sentient vegetables—mostly disgruntled asparagus—who booed every time someone spelled “rhubarb” incorrectly. Abigail, wearing a glittering cape made of old VHS tape, stood at the mic trying to keep a straight face as a contestant named Zzlorp, a gelatinous cube from Neptune, confidently spelled “onomatopoeia” by burping in Morse code.

Midway through the event, a rebellious turnip tried to storm the stage yelling, “Spelling is oppression!” but was gently tasered by a floating jellyfish security guard wearing a tiny hat. Abigail handled it like a pro, offering the turnip a juice box and a hug. “I was in Little Miss Sunshine, I can handle chaos,” she muttered under her breath as she called the next contestant, a tap-dancing slug with a lisp.

When the bee ended, the Council gifted her a certificate, a holographic high-five, and a coupon for one free taco anywhere in the Milky Way. As she returned to Earth, she tweeted: “I just hosted a spelling bee in space. Someone please explain the ferret.” The tweet got 4.3 million likes and a confused response from NASA that simply read, “We’re looking into it.”

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Worst Johnny Depp Pirate Story

When I asked AI to write a short story involving Johnny Depp, this is what I got:

One sunny morning in the Caribbean, Johnny Depp—still dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow long after the movies ended—decided he was tired of acting and would now be a real-life pirate. But not the plundering kind. No, no. He would be the Robin Hood of the seas… the Coconut Bandit.

He sailed a tiny ship called The S.S. Eyeliner (named for its impressive collection of waterproof makeup) and roamed from island to island… stealing coconuts. Not for himself, of course, but for the island parrots who, according to him, were “desperately under-caffeinated.”

On one island, he was caught red-handed mid-heist by a group of confused tourists. Instead of running, Johnny tipped his hat, handed them each a coconut smoothie, and said, “Compliments of the Caribbean’s most charming criminal.”

Word spread quickly. Soon, people wanted to be robbed. Villagers left out baskets of fruit. Tourists followed him like he was a tropical Santa Claus. And parrots? They adored him. One even tried to marry him. (It was awkward. He politely declined.)

To this day, legend has it that if you’re on a beach and hear the gentle thrum of a ukulele, you might catch a glimpse of Johnny Depp, still out there, swiping coconuts, sipping smoothies, and giving fist bumps to every parrot he sees.

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Worst Justin Bieber Story

Justin Bieber and the Jellybean Adventure

AI-Generated Funny Story

It was an ordinary day for Justin Bieber. Well, as ordinary as a day can get when you’re Justin Bieber, living in the spotlight, and dealing with millions of fans who think your every move is a headline.

But today? Today was different. Justin had a very important mission ahead of him: He was about to try every single flavor of jellybean at a candy store. Why? Because, according to him, it was the perfect way to embrace his inner child and do something “totally normal”.

So, he walked into a candy shop, where a large display of jellybeans gleamed at him like a beacon. There was every flavor imaginable. And Justin? Well, he was feeling adventurous.

The first jellybean he grabbed was labeled “Cotton Candy,” a classic. He popped it in his mouth. “Okay, okay, this is easy,” he said to no one in particular, nodding. “I’m a jellybean pro.”

Then, the next one which had a light green color.

“…What?” Justin stared at the jellybean suspiciously but shrugged. “You only live once, right?”

He bit into it, and his eyes immediately went wide. “Oh, NOPE. This is a disaster,” he grimaced, spitting it out into a napkin.

The shopkeeper chuckled from behind the counter. “Yeah, that one’s… not for the faint of heart.”

“Well, what flavor is this?” Justin asked.

“Pickle juice smoothie.”